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Very intriguing ideas

Chapman's book, the Five Love Languages was recommended to me by a friend. At first I was hesitant to pick up the book because in all reality my marriage is fine. However, being of the mindset that things can always be better, my wife and I decided that getting the book wouldn't hurt anything.

As I read through the book, a lot of what he had to say made sense in a logical fashion, especially as I thought about my own relationship with my wife and as I looked at other couples we know. There are different ways of expressing love and not all of those ways are interpreted the same by all people. It's a matter of determining which actions are going to be interpreted as being expressions and acting accordingly. When people are acting in ways that will be interpreted as expressions of love, then the partner in the relationship feels love. In many ways, what it boils down to is how to effectively communicate with your partner that you love him or her and recognizing that actions speak louder than words (unless of course the love "language" is words of affirmation).

Chapman peppers the book with examples of couples that were rescued from the brink of divorce to illustrate the power of the love languages. In some cases the examples seem a little too extreme to be true, but even if those examples were false, they still serve an effective function which is to get the reader excited about the possiblity of being able to communicate more effectively with the partner. So, the examples, while I initially shook my head and said, "yeah right" in the end made me think that perhaps there is some merit to his ideas. Ultimately I have yet to have a chance to really try them out and see what happens, but I don't see that there is any harm trying.

There might be some complaints about his basing the ideas in religion and using the Bible to back up certain points in the book. Personally, I wasn't bothered by the basis in Christianity. It is necessary to have something from which to formulate the initial ideas and I can see where Chapman effectively used the Bible to support his contentions. If the mention of Christianity is something that would bother a reader, they probably shouldn't pick up the book, but if the mentioning of Christianity is viewed as either supporting a basic thesis to begin with or is wholeheartedly embraced then the book is something that is worth reading.

If his contentions are accurate, that we all have different ways of understanding expressions of love, then this book is a must read for you if you are in anyway hoping to improve your marriage. This recommendation comes with the caveat that if you can't or won't read past a religious basis, then don't pick up this book.