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An incredible book .... highly recommend ... After many years as a marriage counselor, Gary Chapman began noticing patterns in the way couples interact with each other. Although one or both partners might be trying to please their mate and make their marriage better, somehow their efforts were falling short. He noticed that after the first blush of romantic love begins to fade, couples are often unsuccessful in keeping the loving and affectionate feelings alive in their marriage. He concluded that each of us has a "love language", which is based on a need within us which must be filled in order for us to feel loved. This love language is part of us early in life and seems to continue to adulthood. In order for us to effectively love our spouse, we must be tuned in to his/her "love language". The love languages include quality time, words of affirmation, gifts, acts of service, and physical touch. Often people intuitively know which is their love language but for those who don't, Gary Chapman provides a questionnaire which will help each person identify which one is primary for him/her. He has a chapter explaining each love language and how you can speak this language to your spouse. If both partners are committed to making their marriage better, Chapman's case studies show this is an effective way for them to minister to each other and improve their communication and interactions.