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Maybe not the whole story, but helpful Women do not usually hold out for men who show them zero interest, so what's happening in the examples in this book is that the men are routinely showing patterns of pursuit and retreat that are leaving the women frustrated, angry, and confused. The motives behind pursuit/ retreat are never fully explained here and I think might be more complicated than Greg Behrendt lets on. Could the reasons be that men are trying to grab back some of the power they feel they have been losing? I don't know, but I do know that women still feel undervalued. We've been able to leave behind the lack of respect, attention, and love that women felt in the powerless role of the housewife so that we could establish some power and control in the working world. Yet many of us still feel a lack of respect, attention, and love in our personal lives. As Liz Truccillo writes in this book, it is very difficult to assume a passive role in the dating world when you don't assume that role in any other area of life. If you think you have a shot, however small, at the job, house, or lifestyle that you want, you go for it. Being passive leads to depression; being active leads to a sense of empowerment, even when you lose. When have you ever heard someone advise a male to be happy with his life, with or without a partner, and to just let things happen as they may? That he should be fully satisfied with or without a love relationship? Men are never told this. I don't think most of them would have much interest in pursuing careers if they knew it would result in zero chance for relationships. We are largely driven by love and sex, after all. Yet women are consistently told they should be happy alone if the right relationship doesn't come along. So many men have complained to me that women hold all the cards in relationships; they seem to have no idea how frustrating it is to have to communicate indirectly instead of just being able to ask someone out and letting the chips fall where they may. I really enjoyed the fact that we get some of the female perspective in this book; Truccillo is not afraid to air her fear and anger over these issues. No wonder Sex and the City was such a consistently good show (until the last episode) and left so many of us feeling bereft when it ended. Unfortunately, a lot of single women in their thirties and forties have so much buried fear and anger over their status that they are unable to articulate and accept their emotions on these issues. New York women are just so kick-ass. Despite my misgivings, this book DID help me close a door on an unresolved relationship. It does empower you to be active in one sense-- you can actively close the door on one relationship and then actively put yourself in situations where you can meet someone new. Two other relationship-oriented, Amazon quick-picks I'd like to recommend are: Kissing in Manhattan by David Schickler and The Losers Club: Complete Restored Edition by Richard Perez, a hilarious novel about a writer addicted to personal ads.